Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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