Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
