did you get engaged???
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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