You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
