Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
that's an acceptable place to lick
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
