i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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