cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
