my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just pynch a tree in the face
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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