What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The beer is more important than you right now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
as a side note pls kill me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
