it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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