What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
