So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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