so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
