She's JV to your varsity
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
