I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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