And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
