I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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