hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
