Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
