in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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