We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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