you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize