Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
