my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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