I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
