well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
