Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She announced her abortion via fbk
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
