No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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