Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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