she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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