Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize