Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
