I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize