would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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