and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I look better un-naked...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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