New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
