I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
