i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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