yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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