His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
