I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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