My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
