I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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