I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
