I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize