and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The air was thick with penises
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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