he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
