I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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