you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize