spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
