I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
