Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My dad is sitting where you rode me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
