dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
