i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
