he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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