The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
